Saturday, 21 December 2013

[Not a Movie Review] Dhoom 3: Nobody can cancel the Apocalypse, not even Aamir Khan!

The Writer/Director,
Dhoom 3: The Movie.

Date: 20th December, 2013

Subject: Some of us still have brains.

With due respect, let us assume, we overcome the overly preposterous notion of penning “Bank waalon tumhari aisi ki taisi!” on the walls of an international bank whose top management can’t even fathom Hindi; But how can a sane person shut his eye for the lack of competency of Chicago Police Department to not hire a language translator; and then to put icing on the cake, deciding to call two clumsy ham-fisted cops back from India? I’m flabbergasted.

Frankly speaking, I don’t think Uday Chopra cares much for his reputation or else he would have quit acting a long time ago. But sir, what was the dreadful need for those nincompoop facial expressions you made him do, which reminded me of those half-witted blockheaded apes back from my National Geographic days! Wait, was that his natural way of feinting acting? Damn, sorry!

It’s not that I did not try! I did made an effort to clap or hoot out loud, but then, a small voice quivered inside me, “Haven’t I seen this all before?” But no offense to your ingenious imagination as you definitely haven’t seen The Prestige (2006) or else you would have known that the master architect of modern cinema, Christopher Nolan, had also bamboozled the audience with the exact same twist seven years back.

One ten minutes chase, Ok. Two ten minutes chase, still, Ok. Third ten minutes chase, have you gone bananas or what? But yeah, I do understand your hardships as you had to make a selling point out of those stunt pieces as one can’t totally rely on an intelligent script now, right? And well, clearly, cerebral conversations are not your forte as the exchange between Aamir Khan and Abhishek Bachchan at one point of the movie made me crave for congenital deafness!

Why was there such an all-out blatant assault on our commonsense? How can such a monstrously hog headed paper thin plot got passed right under the noses of the producers? But truth be told, amid all these catastrophic blunders, you found redemption in Aamir Khan. Taking nothing away from him, he gave it all to save this ship from the wreckage it was heading to, but well, you can’t cancel the apocalypse!

Thanking you for annihilating rationality,
With due regards,
A movie enthusiast. 

1 comment:

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